When it Comes to Sex Scenes, Mindy Kaling Gets It
I haven’t kept
up with Kaling’s career since The Office.
However, while researching future writing projects, I planned on skimming a
couple of her books. They were easy and enjoyable reads, and I ended up
devouring almost the entirety of both volumes. There’s a certain charm to
Kaling’s personality and writing style. She’s witty, funny, and entertaining.
One of
Kaling’s books, Why Not Me?, has a
chapter entitled “I Love Sex Scenes!” In it, she explains why she is attracted to sexually charged scenes: “Obviously, on-screen sex is not actual
penetrative sex, but as any religious high-schooler will tell you, simulating
sex can be pretty damn enjoyable as well” (p. 91). She even calls the
experience “the world’s best job perk” (p. 95).
Kaling
describes once being involved in a “particularly involved make-out with an
actor who happened to be a married acquaintance of mine. The shot was
complicated and the director spent hours shooting it over and over.” During
this shoot, her scene partner secretly shared with her how sexually arousing
the experience was for him. This private moment was, she says, “the sexiest
thing that has ever happened to me” (p. 93).
Because
the book as a whole is littered with humorous hyperbole, we need to be careful
about taking all of these descriptions in an absolute and literal manner.
However, Kaling isn’t lying to us about her enjoyment. She really does like
sexually acting out in front of the camera.
With her
tongue firmly planted in her cheek, Kaling goes on to say that all actors agree
with her and that they’re just pretending they don’t. Now, we know that’s not
true (as does Kaling). There are plenty of genuine,
heartfelt, and even sometimes heartbreaking testimonies to the contrary. However, I believe Kaling’s point is simply this:
she’s not the only one.
And indeed,
she is not. Other actors have given similar testimonies (which we will explore more
fully in the near future).
The
question then becomes, why don’t more actors let on that they also enjoy
filming sex scenes? Kaling actually answers that question with four convincing
reasons:
1. Creepiness. They fear coming across as
“some kind of weirdo” (p. 93) with whom no one will want to work.
2. Vulnerability. If you admit you liked a
sex scene and your co-star admits they didn’t, it’s embarrassing (just like it
is with actual sex).
3. Significant Others. Kaling says,
Actors
are the only people in the world who are allowed to essentially stray from
their marriages physically and there are no repercussions. Zero. In fact, if
they’re especially good at sex scenes, thousands of people will want to steal
them away. If you are the unlucky spouse of an actor, the last thing you want
to hear is that, in addition to him getting to fake-cheat on you by virtue of
the most unfair loophole of all time, he also really enjoyed it (p. 94).
4. Integrity. Actors want to separate
themselves from even the appearance of prostitution. In order to maintain a
professional air, “it’s very important for us not to seem like we are being
financially compensated for sex acts” (p. 94).
I
appreciate Kaling’s frankness, nonchalant though it may be. By sharing her own
experiences and thoughts, she helps prove my case: sex
scenes are indeed sexual. Some actors may find these scenes disturbing, and
others may find them arousing, but that’s how it is with all forms of sex acts. Some find adultery appealing, while others do not. Some
find group sex appealing, while others do not. Some find pedophilia appealing, while others do not. Personal
preference—or abhorrence—doesn’t change sexual acts into non-sexual acts.
While Kaling
and I aren’t exactly on the same page, we can agree on at least one thing:
simulating sex will remain sexual as long as it involves…well, a sexual
simulation.
So when it
comes to the true nature of filming sex scenes, Mindy Kaling gets it. I wish
more people did.
Next entry: “But Simulated Sex isn’t Real Sex”
Next entry: “But Simulated Sex isn’t Real Sex”